Learning Process...

You would think that after having been on the mission field for almost 12 years, we (well, I) would have learned to trust God by now. But alas, it is a never-ending learning process. Over the last month or so, I have been having second thoughts, doubts, worries about moving to New Zealand. We were hoping to be there by the end of 2009, but as you know that didn't happen. The whole visa process is taking longer than we (I) expected (and hoped for). And so the thoughts keep running through my head - did I hear God correctly? Am I not spiritual enough? Did I sin against God in anyway? Am I our of His will? Is this really our calling? Did the Waltons really take too long to say goodnight (ok, that was just thrown in there to see if you were keeping up)?

Not only the whole visa thing got me thinking, but also our support is not up to where we need it to be. In the last 3 months, we only have been able to reach about 40% of our monthly budget through support. So when it is said that 'where God guides He provides' does that mean He is not guiding us to NZ??? So that caused more worries. And doubts. And questions.

But this morning I was doing my daily reading and in Genesis 21 God spoke to me. In v2 it states that 'Sarah conceived and bore Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time of which God had spoken to him' (my emphasis). This spoke to me because God had a set time for the fulfillment of his promise to them. He is not early nor late. They had to wait 25 years to see the promise fulfilled, never knowing when exactly, but just continuing to go forward and trust that God will do it in His time and way. Hmm, I guess I can learn from father Abe.

And to rub it in (thanks Lord), I was also reading in Matt 6 this morning and He spoke again through v25-34 where Jesus teaches not to 'worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing...therefore do not worry....but seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble' (my emphasis). Need I say more?!?

Ok, so I guess I need to learn all over again how to trust God, that He will keep His promises according to His plan. And that He will provide according to His ways. Thanks Lord, for the reminder. Are you allowing God to teach you today what it means to trust Him? In and for everything? Hard isn't it?