Are You Soaring, Running or Walking?

For all those who wanted the mp3 of the teaching that I did at our home church (CC Murrieta) while we were in the USA, here it is.  It was recorded during the 2nd service - and i think it was also live on the radio in SoCal on that day.  For those in Europe, this is a longer, more in-depth version of what I shared at CC Freiburg. Hope you enjoy it - it spoke to me!

David Pham - Isa 40.31 - 10.June.2012

 

Runner's World - The Human Race...

As I mentioned a couple months ago, Runner's World magazine (Australia and New Zealand edition) had written me an email about including me and the kidney donation in their June issue.  The section of the magazine is called 'The Human Race - What It Takes To...' and features just normal average every day runners (not professionals or Olympic class runners!!) and their unique stories.  It's a great encouragement to read these stories of people like you and me and how running has played an unique part in their lives.  In any case, here's my story of the kidney donation, from their perspective.  Below is the cover of the mag and the article itself - just a couple short paragraphs, but hey, it's in RUNNER'S WORLD!  ;-)

PS - click on the fotos to enlarge and read....

[caption id="attachment_1718" align="aligncenter" width="614"] here is the article / blurb about the kidney donation...[/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_1717" align="aligncenter" width="424"] and here is the cover of the June issue.[/caption]

Star Wars and Weird Al?

Here's one for all you Star Wars and Weird Al fans - especially those with the last name of Pham!  Love it!  I think I'm gonna have to try this hairdo?  What do ya think?  ;-)

PS - for those of you too young to remember, this is the a parody of Don McLean's American Pie song from 1971.

 

Challenge Weekly Interview

For those of you who follow us on this blog and not on Facebook, here is the article that I mentioned last month (in case you are reading this on FB, don't be confused - posts from our www.phamilynews.net blog automatically appear on FB also).

A Christian newspaper here in New Zealand interviewed me about the whole kidney donation process and how it all worked out.  It is similar to the article that came out in the Dom Post last month (click here).  But obviously, being a Christian newspaper, the Challenge Weekly article had more of a Christian perspective.

But in any case, here's the article (click here).  Enjoy!  And yes, that IS Jello that I am eating in the photo from the article - one of my favorite foods!  Yum!

PS - here is a photo of the recipient and his wife and me that didn't make it into the Challenge Weekly article.  Maybe they were afraid my mug might break the printing press?  ;-)



 

Spaghetti Trees?

I know I'm a little late with April Fools but I am teaching on deception this week and found this video from 1957.  It is pretty funny and very well done for its time - check it out.  I think this was the first time that TV was used to propagate an Aprils Fool joke.  Gotta love the BBC - they have such a subtle and classy sense of humor!

 

Runner's World - All Those KM's Paid Off...

I just got an email from Runner's World magazine (the Australia and New Zealand edition) saying that they would like to include my story of kidney donation in their next issue.  It will be just a short blurb, a paragraph or two describing the kidney donation and how running was a big part of that for me.  It will be featured in their 'HumanRace: What It Takes To...' column which "is dedicated entirely to you, regular runners doing inspiring things.  It's a platform where we will share your stories to help inspire other runners" (quoted from the March edition of Runner's World - Australia & NZ edition).  It will come out in the June issue - only in the Australia and New Zealand version as far as I know (other regions of the world will have their own version of Runner's World and their own editorial team).

Cool, huh?  I guess running all those kilometres in the last year and a half paid off!  NOT!  I'll have to get a copy of the mag when it comes out and post the article here.  I subscribe to the mag as a digital version, but only get the USA version for that.

 

9th Freiburger Marathon & Half Marathon

Man, I should have planned my trip to Germany better - I could have run this race! It looks like so much fun - 10,000 people took part in it and it ran right by the church where I used to pastor! Next year maybe...

Here's the official video from their website...

Afternoon Tea With His Excellency

As you know, this past Tuesday, we were invited to Government House to have afternoon tea with the Governor General - Lieutenant General, The Right Honorable Sir Jerry Mataparae.  The tea was in honor of those who had donated a kidney in the last 5 years or so - there were 25 of us donors there that afternoon, some coming from as far as 2 hours drive from Welly.  All the live donors were personally thanked by the Governor General and presented with a certificate - pretty formal stuff.  Coming from America, we're not used to the ceremony and pomp and all that!  But we had a great time - after we relaxed and weren't so panicked at meeting the Queen of New Zealand's Representative - and a knight at that!

In fact, His Excellency has a great sense of humor, but I was so nervous that I didn't quite catch on at first.  We were chatting during the tea and I can't remember how we got on this topic but His Excellency commented that he knew we were Americans by our shoes.  Both Becks and I quickly glanced down at our shoes in horror, thinking that perhaps we had our jandals/sandals on, before realizing that His Excellency was joking.  Whew!  I think I was too busy trying to think of something witty and insightful to say that his comment caught me off guard!

After the tea, we were allowed to walk around the Government House and have a look at the rooms and artifacts (this would be akin to walking around the White House, but without all the security and Secret Service glaring at you behind their sunnies!).  That was fun!  We got to see the Throne Room - where His and Her Excellencies have their 'thrones'.  Well, actually it's called the Ballroom officially, but I like to call it the Throne Room!  ;-)  And I really wanted to sit on one of the thrones and have a photo taken, but alas, we had to make do with a photo of us in front of the thrones.  Anyways, here are a few more photos of the event...

 

[caption id="attachment_1652" align="aligncenter" width="462" caption="Governor General presenting certificate"][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_1654" align="aligncenter" width="614" caption="The Live Kidney Donors, the Governor General (front center) and Drs."][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_1656" align="aligncenter" width="522" caption="Governor General, Missus and Me, Head of the Renal Services (dr. in chage of my case)"][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_1657" align="aligncenter" width="614" caption="Becks next to photo of Queen Elizabeth II, about as close as we're ever going to get to royalty!"][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_1658" align="aligncenter" width="461" caption="In front of the 'Thrones' - I wanted a photo of me sitting in one so badly!"][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_1661" align="aligncenter" width="502" caption="Norrie State Dining Room - where visiting Heads of State dine"][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_1664" align="aligncenter" width="645" caption="Government House from outside"][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_1663" align="aligncenter" width="645" caption="Bird's Eye view of Government House"][/caption]

En Garde!

Jesaiah had his first fencing competition today and actually did very well.  Especially having only started fencing lessons about a month ago.  He came in 4th in his age bracket, just one place out of earning a medal.  But he did get a medal for the top beginner!  Cool!

But boy was he exhausted - the competition lasted over 5 hours!  Obviously, he wasn't fencing the whole time, but still, it's almost a whole day of fencing!  Anyways, here are a few photos.  Enjoy...

 









 

Are We Ready To Forgive? (by Becky)

“For You, Lord, are good and ready to forgive,
and abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You.”
Psalm 86:5

We have been going through a few Psalms on Tuesday nights in the women’s Bible study.  This last week we were in Psalm 86.  This Psalm is listed as a ‘Prayer of David”.  We don’t know what the circumstances were when David wrote this Psalm, but it would seem that he was in some sort of trouble.  This Psalm is David crying out to God to save him.  David seems pretty confident that God will do just that.

David says for “you are good and ready to forgive”.  David knew first-hand the goodness of God – and His ability to forgive.  That phrase “ready to forgive” makes me think of an expectant waiting.  God is just waiting for us to ask so that He can forgive us!  That is a hard thing for us, as humans, to get our head, or heart, around, because we so often aren’t “ready to forgive”.  It can sometimes take a while for our hearts to soften to be able to forgive someone, and we think it must be the same with God toward us.  I like what one commentator says, “Many wait to repent and ask forgiveness because they think that time might make God more forgiving.  That isn’t possible.  He is ready to forgive now” (D. Guzik).

God is ready to forgive, right now!  It doesn’t matter how we’ve sinned or how many times we’ve sinned, He is ready to forgive, and not only that it also says He is “abundant in mercy to all those who call upon” Him.

How about me?  Am I ready to forgive?  It isn’t always easy, and seems harder, to me at least, to forgive those closest to me.  There are times that I don’t want to let go of the hurt, I want to punish them for hurting me, by not forgiving.  But if I do that, then bitterness will take root and it will be even harder to let go and forgive.  I pray that God will not only teach me how to be ready to forgive, but also that He will remind me that He is there ready to forgive, and abundant in mercy, when I ask.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins
and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
1John 19

by Becky Pham

Are We Pilgrims Or Nomads (by Becky)

Last weekend at the women’s conference Pam Markey taught on pilgrimage using Psalm 84:5 as reference, which says, “Blessed is the man whose strength is in You. Whose heart is set on pilgrimage.”

What is a pilgrimage? The dictionary defines it as “a journey, especially a long one, made to some sacred place as an act of religious devotion.” I know that when I think of a pilgrim I envision someone who has packed up a few precious possessions – only what they can carry – and left their native home in search of a better life somewhere else. They know there will be difficulties, but they are willing to face the challenges, looking to the end, their new home.

That is what our lives as Christians are like. When we give our heart to the Lord, He sets our sights on heaven as our new home. This world becomes our ‘native home’ and we set off on our pilgrimage to heaven. We will face many challenges along the way but, OH our new home, what a reward!

There is a danger though of being nomads instead of pilgrims. A nomad is someone who wanders somewhat aimlessly. They don’t have a permanent home and they don’t have a goal where they are going. They simply wander from place to place seeking the best they can get in each place before moving on.

We as Christians shouldn’t be nomads, we know where we are going and we can be confident that we will arrive there someday. Jesus said “In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you” (John 14:2). Not only do we have a destination, it has been prepared for us by Jesus Himself!

So let’s travel our pilgrimage with purpose, and encourage one another along the way, especially when the road is not so smooth.

For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself.

                                                                                                   Philippians 3:20-21

Becky Pham

Running, Donation And Jesus (but not necessarily in that order)

So what do those three things / person have in common, you might ask?  Perhaps nothing?  But for little ole me, they are three of my many passions.  And this week, I had the privilege of sharing them with others.  But I never dreamed that I would have the opportunity to share these 3 things with so many people!

For World Kidney Day (8.March.2012), I was interviewed by the regional newspaper because I had donated a kidney 3 months ago (read the article here).  My first thought was, ok, cool, but I am sure they'll bury the article on some back page between the obituaries and the rental ads.  But lo and behold, they stuck the article on the front page!  Not just on the digital version of the paper, but also on the front page of the print edition!  And not only on the front page, but above the fold, in the middle!  With a huge photo even!  Must have been a really slow news day for them!  But, hey, WOW!  God is good!  I didn't know about the print edition until some moms from the kids' school met Becky at the classroom door, holding the paper up for her to see.

We were flabbergasted, so we had to go out and buy up all the copies in our valley.  Ok, maybe it was just a few copies.  Maybe I can autograph them and sell them on TradeMe or eBay!  ;-)  Yeah, right...

But seriously, for me, it was truly an honor to be able to speak for Jesus, my Savior, my All in All.  And also to be able to promote and raise awareness for organ donation and specifically kidney transplantation (have you considered it?).  And thirdly, of course, my new-found (well, of 2 years now) passion, running (did you notice the plug for the local half-marathon event in the article ;-) ).  And all in one shot!  And to so many people - I didn't realize how widely read this regional paper is!  Woohoo!  So I guess that is my 5 minutes of fame.  Or as they say here in Kiwi-land, 'today's news, tomorrow's fish & chips wrapping paper'!  How true!  That is exactly what King Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 4.16 (NLT) ^{- '}Endless crowds stand around him, but then another generation grows up and rejects him, too. So it is all meaningless—like chasing the wind.'

Anyways, here is a quote from the website of Fairfax Media, who I think is the parent company of the Dom Post.  It details the readership of the paper.  Wow.  Praise the Lord!

"Wellington is more than New Zealand's capital city. It is a vibrant and dynamic economic, cultural and social community. This energy is reflected in The Dominion Post, Wellington's daily newspaper with 132,000 Wellingtonians aged 15+ reading The Dominion Post each day. A total of 232,000 people from across central New Zealand and Wellington turn to The Dominion Post....[which] covers the second largest metropolitan urban area in New Zealand."

Fog

‘According to the Bureau of Standards in Washington, D.C., a dense fog covering seven city blocks to a height of 100 feet [30.5m] is composed of less than one glass of water. That amount of water is divided into about 60 billion tiny droplets.’   - Source Unknown -

I read this somewhere but can’t seem to be able to substantiate it 100%.  I have read elsewhere that one cubic mile (1.6 cubic km) of fog contains only about 2-4 liters of water!  Isn’t that amazing!  So little water can totally obscure our view of our surroundings.

I remember driving in the mountains once in fog so thick and dense that I had to slow down to about 5 kph and follow the painted center-line just to stay on the road!  And this with the mountain face on one side of the road and a drop-off of about 100 meters on the other!  I literally couldn’t seem more than a meter in front of the car

Isn’t that the same in our lives at times? Isn’t it so easy to let little things in our lives, those miniscule droplets of trials and hardships to completely cover us like a wet, depressing blanket?!  Even though it’s a small, insignificant thing, we allow it to grow into something enormous that obscures our view.  And this blanket of depression puts out the flame of faith, love, passion and service in our hearts and lives.  Amazing that such a small thing can do this!

Perhaps this speaks to you - have you let something small grow out of proportion?  Maybe it’s something someone said or didn’t say?  Or a co-worker who did something that offended you?  Or worry, anxiety, fear.  Or maybe it’s shame and humiliation over something small?  Or maybe it's a little seed of doubt, bitterness, unforgiveness, unrepentance that grow into huge vines that choke out joyful life.  Maybe it started out as molehills, but now are mountains.  Don’t let those little things turn into mountains - take heart…

Philippians 4:6-7
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.


Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

Turn! Turn! Turn!

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, And a time to die;
A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill, And a time to heal;
A time to break down, And a time to build up;
A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain, And a time to lose;
A time to keep, And a time to throw away;
A time to tear, And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;
A time to love, And a time to hate;
A time of war, And a time of peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

As we have been studying through the book of Ecclesiastes, we have now come to this passage - probably the best known Bible passage in the world!  Well, I don't know about that exactly, but it sure seems like it.  It was made famous by the Byrds' version of  this song, titled Turn, Turn Turn (I think - any of you hippies out there know?).

In any case, here are some truths that we can pull out of this passage and apply to our lives today.  Look at the 2 words used - ‘season’ and ‘time’.   Now, there are 2 aspects of time.  There is a singular point in time, an event.  And then there is also a period of time, a season.  For example, Dec 25th, Christmas Day is a point in time, a singular event.  And then there is the Christmas season - a period of time that starts somewhere around Thanksgiving (although this season seems to start earlier and earlier each year!).  So what is the significance?

1. God has appointed times or events in our lives.  That is what it seems Solomon is referring to here.  God has appointed a specific time for everything.  There is no coincidence or chance with God - He is sovereign.  He appoints the good as well as ‘bad’ events.  Or at least ‘bad’ from our perspective.

These verses describe the totality of life in poetical form - from birth to death, and everything in between!  Solomon is saying there is an appointed time for everything in life.  It's not just bad luck or random chance, but it is God’s providence.

There is great comfort here - since God has appointed these times in our lives, He knows we are ready for them.  He believes we can handle them.  In fact, He gives us the strength, endurance and patience to go through these times - good and bad.

2. God has also appointed the seasons of our lives.  God has appointed a length of time, a season for everything in our lives.  Seasons are not forever.  The seasons of the year change - it is not forever winter.  This implies that there is a beginning and an end.  It is a definite length of time.  So in our times of hardship and difficulties, we can know it’s not forever but only for a season.  Only for a length of time that God has ordained.  It is not too long, nor too short - but perfect for us.

So again, take comfort - God has a time and season for everything.  There will come a time when winter turns to spring, when the deadness and barrenness fades away and life blooms once again.

3. Not only does God appoint these times and seasons, but He makes them beautiful. A few verses after the passage above, Solomon writes - 'He [God] has made everything beautiful in its time’ (Ecc 3.11).  Notice 2 things here…

First, ‘He has made everything’ - beginnings, ends.  Births and deaths.  Joys and sorrows.  Laughter and tears.  Peace and war.  Things that seem positive, but also things that seem negative.  God has ordained and appointed everything.  The situations we find ourselves in are not just a random string of events.  They are not out of control nor meaningless.  Not just chance or bad luck.  There is meaning to everything in life because God is working out His purpose.

Even those dead winter times are from God and will be used by Him for our good and His glory. Those times when we bear no fruit and it seems like we’re dead - or in situations that cause emotional and spiritual death.  Take fruit trees for instance, they don’t bear fruit all year long.  There’s a season when they need to be pruned and cut back.  And it seems drastic at times - often it has been cut back so much that there is only a stump left!  Yet, what is the purpose and goal?  That when harvest time comes around next season, they bear more and better fruit!  Isn't that what Jesus said in John 15.2b - ‘every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit’?  So we can be sure that EVERYTHING is in the hands of God.  He is in control, even when it seems our world is out of control.

Secondly, everything is ‘beautiful in its time’.  But you might ask - how can death be beautiful?  Or suffering?  Or loss, tears, pain?  The hard times and suffering might not be beautiful now, but in their God-appointed time, they will be beautiful.  Take for example the crucifixion of Jesus - His disciples didn’t think it was beautiful when it happened.  But when Jesus was resurrected and appeared to them, when they saw Him in the midst of their sorrow - they rejoiced!  They could see the beauty of the Cross (for the most part)!

And that is the key - when we see Jesus in the midst of our sorrow or pain, it becomes beautiful. Perhaps not while we're deep in the midst of sorrow, but in its time.  When that season is over and another starts.  And when we can recognize and accept that God was using the pain and sorrow to accomplish His plan and purpose in our lives.

So take heart - God has appointed times and seasons in our lives.  Good and bad ones.  Joyful and sorrowful ones.  But God also makes them beautiful in their appointed time.  Rest in that.



PS - the video is from YouTube and I can't turn off the ads.  Just close them when they pop up on the video.  Sorry.

Time For A Body-Slam!

Just read this article over on the Art of Manliness blog and LOVED it!  It is so true!  I think too often today, kids are coddled and babied.  They need to learn resilience, perseverance and toughness!  And horseplay and roughhousing is one small way that they can learn that.  Because, let's admit it, life ain't easy.  And you can't run away all the time nor run to momma or anyone else.  Sometimes you just gotta meet the conflict or problem head-on!  That takes perseverance and resiliency.

In any case, read the article - especially you dads.  I unashamedly quoted the whole article below.  But you can go here  (click on the link) to read the whole article on the Art of Manliness blog.  There is also a video that I can't copy over.

And excuse me now while I go body-slam my 5 year old daughter!  ;-)

Article is quoted in its entirety below...

*****************************************************************************************

The Importance of Roughhousing

With Your Kids

by Brett & Kate McKay on February 7, 2012

Roughhousing. Horseplay. Wrastling. Whatever you call it, it’s one of the best things about being a dad. I love chasing my one-year-old son, Gus, around the house or pretending that the living room is a lucha libre ring and wrestling with him. No matter how stressed out I’m feeling, hearing one of his big, belly laughs erupt as I swing him around like a monkey makes all my cares go away.

Unfortunately, in recent years, horseplay has gotten a bad rap. Parents, concerned about safety and preventing ADHD, limit the amount of rambunctious play their kids take part in. At least 40% of US school districts have eliminated or are considering eliminating recess, because  teachers need more time to cram kids’ heads full of information for standardized tests, because they’re afraid of children getting hurt and the school being held liable, and even because play can apparently encourage violent behavior; according to a principal that banned recess at her elementary school in Cheyenne, a game of tag “progresses easily into slapping and hitting and pushing instead of just touching.”

But recent research has shown that roughhousing serves an evolutionary purpose and actually provides a myriad of benefits for our progeny.  In their book The Art of Roughhousing, Anthony DeBenedet and Larry Cohen highlight a few of these benefits and the research behind them. Instead of teaching kids to be violent and impulsive, DeBenedet and Cohen boldly claim that roughhousing “makes kids smart, emotionally intelligent, lovable and likable, ethical, physically fit, and joyful.” In short, roughhousing makes your kid awesome.

Below, we highlight six benefits of roughhousing with your children. The next time your wife gets on to you for riling up the kids, you can tell her: “I’m helping our children develop into healthy, functioning adults, dear!”…right before performing a baby suplex on your daughter.

The Benefits of Roughhousing

Roughhousing Boosts Your Kid’s Resilience


Helping your child develop a resilient spirit is one of the best things you can do as a parent. The ability to bounce back from failures and adapt to unpredictable situations will help your kids reach their full potential and live happier lives as adults. And an easy way to help boost your kids’ resilience is to put them in a gentle headlock and give them a noogie.

Roughhousing requires your child to adapt quickly to unpredictable situations. One minute they might be riding you like a horse and the next they could be swinging upside-down. According to evolutionary biologist Marc Bekoff in his book Wild Justice, the unpredictable nature of roughhousing actually rewires a child’s brain by increasing the connections between neurons in the cerebral cortex, which in turn contributes to behavioral flexibility. Learning how to cope with sudden changes while roughhousing trains your kiddos to cope with unexpected bumps in the road when they’re out in the real world.

Additionally, roughhousing helps develop your children’s grit and stick-to-itiveness. You shouldn’t just let your kids “win” every time when you roughhouse with them. Whether they’re trying to escape from your hold or run past you in the hallway, make them work for it. Playtime is a fun and safe place to teach your kids that failure is often just a temporary state and that victory goes to the person who keeps at it and learns from his mistakes.

Roughhousing also helps children learn how to manage and deal with pain and discomfort. You shouldn’t intentionally hurt your kids while roughhousing (obviously), but little bumps and scrapes are bound to happen. Instead of cuddling and kissing a child’s “boo boo,” dads have a tendency to distract their kids from the pain with humor or some other task. Learning to deal with and manage minor discomforts while roughhousing can help your child handle the stresses they’ll encounter at school and work.

Roughhousing Makes Your Kid Smarter



Image by ctsnow

Go ahead. Toss your kid like a sack of potatoes onto your bed. It will help turn him into a Toddler Einstein.

Psychologist Anthony Pellegrini has found that the amount of roughhousing children engage in predicts their achievement in first grade better than their kindergarten test scores do. What is it about rough and tumble play that makes kids smarter? Well, a couple things.

First, as we discussed above, roughhousing makes your kid more resilient and resilience is a key in developing children’s intelligence. Resilient kids tend to see failure more as a challenge to overcome rather than an event that defines them.  This sort of intellectual resilience helps ensure your children bounce back from bad grades and gives them the grit to keep trying until they’ve mastered a topic.

In addition to making students more resilient, roughhousing actually rewires the brain for learning. Neuroscientists studying animal and human brains have found that bouts of rough-and-tumble play increase the brain’s level of a chemical called brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF). BDNF helps increase neuron growth in the parts of the brain responsible for memory, logic, and higher learning–skills necessary for academic success.

Roughhousing Builds Social Intelligence

I’ve talked to several parents, especially moms, who are afraid to encourage roughhousing because they think it will turn their kids into little bouncing-off-the-walls hellians who will someday wind up in a juvie center. I guess I can see the reasoning behind their concerns–five-year-old play fights with dad; five-year-old thinks violence is fun; five year old turns into violent sadist bent on human destruction.

The problem is that research actually shows the opposite outcome: children who engage in frequent roughhousing are almost always more socially and emotionally adept than kids who don’t. Dr. Stuart Brown, an expert on play (Yeah, you can be an expert on play. Who knew?) says that the “lack of experience with rough-and-tumble play hampers the normal give-and-take necessary for social mastery and has been linked with poor control of violent impulses later in life.” That’s right. Wrestling your kid around in a play fight ensures that he doesn’t turn into the next Ted Bundy. Keeping him away from the neighborhood cats helps too.

Roughhousing builds social intelligence in several ways. First, when kids roughhouse they learn to tell the difference between play and actual aggression. Dr. Pellegrini found in a survey among school-aged children that the ones who could tell the difference between play and real aggression were more well-liked compared to kids who had a hard time separating the two. The kids who mistook play for aggression often ended up returning their classmates good-natured overtures with a real punch in the kisser. The ability to differentiate between play and aggression translates into other social skills that require people to read and interpret social cues.

Roughhousing also teaches children about taking turns and cooperation. You might not recognize it, but when you horse around with your kids, you’re often taking part in a give-and-take negotiation where the goal is to make sure everyone has fun.  Sometimes you’re the chaser and sometimes you’re the chasee; sometimes you’re pinning down your kids and other times they’re pinning you down. Your kids wouldn’t want to keep playing if they were constantly on the losing side.  Everyone has to take turns in order for the fun to continue.

What’s interesting is that animals even take part in this back-and-forth role reversal. Adult wolves will expose their bellies and necks to their cubs and let them “win” the play fight. Stronger rats will handicap themselves during bouts of play and let the weaker rat win so play can continue. Marc Bekoff posits that roughhousing may be nature’s way of teaching cooperation to animals, a necessary skill for the survival of a species.

Roughhousing Teaches Your Kid Morality



We all want kids who end up like Atticus Finch–moral, upright, compassionate. That’s exactly why you need to body slam your kid every now and then.

When we roughhouse with our sons and daughters, they learn boundaries and the difference between right and wrong. If they start hitting hard, aiming below the belt, or becoming malicious, you can reprimand them and then show by example what’s appropriate roughhousing behavior.

Also, roughhousing teaches our children about the appropriate use of strength and power. As I mentioned earlier, when we roughhouse with our kids, we often take turns with the dominant role. Because we’re so much bigger and stronger, we have to handicap ourselves. The implicit message to your child when you hold back is: “Winning isn’t everything. You don’t need to dominate all the time. There’s strength in showing compassion on those weaker than you.”

Roughhousing Gets Your Kid Physically Active


Dads have a profound impact on their children’s physical fitness. Studies have shown that the father’s, (not the mother’s), activity level and weight strongly predict what their children’s activity level and weight will be as adults. If you want your kids to be healthy, active, and fit, then you better be healthy, active, and fit yourself.

What better way to teach your kids to live an active lifestyle than by getting down on the carpet with them for some vigorous roughhousing instead of everyone vegging out in front of the TV? All that running, tumbling, and tackling helps develop strength, flexibility, and coordination in your child.

Roughhousing Builds the Father-Child Bond



Some of my best memories of my childhood were when my dad roughhoused with my brother and I. When we were smaller he’d do the obligatory “ride the horsey.” When we got a little bigger we moved to slap fighting, which consisted of my dad dramatically swirling his hands in front of him like you see fighters do in the old kung fu movies and then very lightly smacking our heads with quick open-handed jabs. Slap fights were the best.

You probably have similar memories of roughhousing with your dad. Roughhousing offers dads a chance to physically show their affection to their kids in a fun and playful environment. When Gus and I wrestle, there are lots of hugs and kisses scattered in-between pretend sleeper holds.

When you throw your kids up in the air and catch them or swing them upside-down, you’re building your child’s trust in you. As they take part in somewhat risky activities with you, your kids learn that they can trust you to keep them safe. Just don’t be like this guy when you tell your kids to jump into your arms:

How to Roughhouse With Your Kids

The beauty of roughhousing is that there’s no right or wrong way to do it. Roughhousing is just spontaneous, improvised play that’s both rowdy and interactive. Don’t think too much about whether you’re doing it wrong or right. Just have fun.

With that said, the The Art of Roughhousing provides a few guidelines to keep in mind while you’re tossing your kids in the air:

Safety first. While you want to get rough and rowdy with your kids, you don’t want to get too crazy with them. Just be aware of your surroundings and keep your kids away from areas where they can get hurt. Also, keep in mind that a child’s joints are prone to injury when roughhousing. Save the joint locks for when your kids are older and fully developed.

Don’t roughhouse right before bed. For me, I have a tendency to want to horse around with Gus right before bed. I’m going to miss the little guy while he’s asleep, so I want to get in as much daddy time as I can before he hits the hay. But just like adults, kids need some time right before bed to relax and ramp things down so they can get into sleep mode. Unless you want a little night owl joining you on the couch to watch late-night TV, roughhouse earlier in the day.

Roughhousing is for girls, too.  While boys are naturally prone to engage in roughhousing, make sure you don’t leave your daughters out of the fun. Studies show that girls who roughhouse with their fathers are more confident than girls who don’t. And some studies even indicate that roughhousing can prevent your little angel from growing up into one of those Queen Bee, Mean Girls that psychologically terrorize other girls.

If you’re looking for specific things to do with your kids while roughhousing, I definitely recommend picking up a copy of The Art of Roughhousing. The book features some great suggestions for roughhousing fun, along with helpful illustrations showing you how to do them. Also, you can visit their website for roughhousing ideas, too.

Sources:

The Art of Roughhousing by Anthony DeBenedet and Lawrence J. Cohen
Wild Justice: The Moral Lives of Animals by Marc Bekoff and Jessica Pierce
The Science of Parenting by Margot Sunderland

Life-proof!

This morning I accidentally knocked my cell phone into my FULL cup of steaming HOT coffee (don't ask me how that happened - it happened, ok?)   And it was a full-sized cup - not those tiny little dainty cups that you have to stick your pinky out to be able to hold.  No, this was a MAN cup of coffee, just filled up with steaming hot coffee!  And the phone was almost completely submerged - only a centimeter of it was sticking above the coffee.  And it stayed submerged for about 20 seconds as I panicked, not knowing what to do!  Should I stick my fingers into the steaming HOT coffee and risk burning my fingers?  Or should I pick up the cup, run to the kitchen and dump the coffee down the drain (heaven forbid!)?  Oh dilemma of dilemmas - should I save the coffee or the phone?  In the mean time the phone stayed submerged in the hot coffee!

[caption id="attachment_1511" align="alignright" width="344" caption="Takes a beating and keeps on going..."][/caption]

In the end, the coffee was more important than the phone and my fingers.  So, at the risk of burned fingers, I reached in and pulled the phone out of the coffee, dried it off and turned it on!  And it still worked!  So I added some more milk to the coffee and had a good hot cup of joe with my morning reading (have to admit, the coffee did taste a little plasticky, in fact even a wee bit phony - haha I kill myself)!  ;-)

But I got to thinking - this phone is advertised as a ruggedized life-proof phone, meaning it is waterproof, dirt-proof, drop-proof and with a scratch-resistant screen.  I have to say, I have dropped it heaps of times while running.  And onto concrete I might add.  And I have dropped it onto wooden floors, carpeted floors, down stairs, getting out of the car - yes, I am pretty clumsy!  But I have never tested the water-proof feature.

So this morning I decided to take the plunge (haha) and test to see how water-proof this phone really is!  Below is the video of the test. I had some music playing on the phone so you can see that the phone is still working, even underwater.  I did have to shake the phone a few times after getting it out to clear the water out of the speakers.  And since it is a touch screen phone, you'll notice that because of the water on the screen and phone, even touching the edge of the screen caused it to do some weird things like pull up the keyboard.  But over all, after drying it off - and rebooting, it worked immediately.  Wow!

If you ask me - would you buy this phone again?  I would say a big YES!   Because it's life-proof!  Now I only wish life itself was life-proof!  ;-)

WARNING - don't do this to YOUR phone.  Duh!  (Instead do it to your friend's phone!)

 

To Infinity and Beyond.....

Ok, well, maybe just to the USA and maybe beyond, to Germany (hey, from here down under - the USA seems like infinity and beyond!).  You're probably wondering - what the heck is he talking about?!  We have booked our plane tickets to SoCal!  Becks and three of the kids will go in April and I and the other/4th child  will join them in May.  And then we will return to New Zealand together in the first week of June.  That way, Becks can attend the CC Murrieta's Women's Retreat in April and I can attend the CC Pastor's Conference in June.

We can't believe it's been 2 years (well, 2 years on 31.Jan) now since we moved down here to Wellington.  So it is definitely time for a visit to update our supporters (you awesome guys!) and family (love you guys) and friends (thanks to you too) on what God has done in us and through us here in New Zealand.  It's been a great 2 years, with lots of ups and downs and back and forth, but it has been a blessing to see God's faithfulness in dealing with us.  And we want to share that with you!

And if we can afford it, I (David) might travel to Europe to update our supporters and churches there also.  But as it is looking now, that is still up in the air.  It all depends on what our finances look like in the next couple of months.

In any case, we have told the kids and they are very excited - well, us too!  So if anyof you are in the SoCal region anytime in the April-June time frame, we would love to meet up, eat up (we're already salivating for Mexican food!) and catch up!  ;-)

And if anyone feels led to donate extra for the plane tickets, it would be most welcome!  We have the cost of 6 tickets from NZ to the USA and possibly 1 or 2 tickets from the USA to Europe.  Check out the column to your right ------> there are various ways to donate.  Thanks to all and we're looking forward to hanging out with you guys!

Adventurous Adventurers!

Today we took a family trip to Adventure Forest here in Whangarei - it's a huge complex out in the forest with several different ropes courses complete with flying foxes (zip lines) and tricky rope obstacles for all age levels.  The top level course is 12m (40ft) high while the 'junior' level course is never more than about a meter (3 ft) off the ground.  Even Dariah got in on the fun and did the 'junior' course - complete with ropes, harness, carabiners and helmet.  Here are a few fotos - we'll have to edit the videos and get them uploaded once we get back to Wellington.

Thanks to Mama for staying on the ground and videoing and taking photos!  And being ready to catch any of us who fall!  ;-)

[caption id="attachment_1446" align="aligncenter" width="517" caption="Videographer & photographer - the many roles of a mom!"][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_1394" align="aligncenter" width="655" caption="Goofballs or Adventurers?"][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_1405" align="aligncenter" width="502" caption="Ballerina"][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_1406" align="aligncenter" width="502" caption="Hanging on for dear life"][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_1422" align="aligncenter" width="461" caption="Zachy - one step at a time..."][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_1424" align="aligncenter" width="504" caption="Zachy - not so adventurous..."][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_1427" align="aligncenter" width="504" caption="Taliah - monkey"][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_1423" align="aligncenter" width="504" caption="Taliah - speedy gonzalez..."][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_1426" align="aligncenter" width="504" caption="Jesaiah - I'm ready to go!"][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_1425" align="aligncenter" width="504" caption="Jesaiah - spiderman!"][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_1421" align="aligncenter" width="504" caption="Daddy - dum-de-dum-de-dum. Bring up the rear...."][/caption]

Homegrown!

We had a bumper crop of broccoli this year - they are huge!  In fact, we have so much broccoli that we might have to give it away.   And the lettuce is doing really well also.  Just waiting to see what the corn will do.  Unfortunately, the tomatoes didn't fare so well - the Welly wind tore all the seedlings out before they could really take root.  Might still try to plant some more.

In any case, it's a good thing the kids like steamed broccoli - we might be eating that for a while!

 

Three Weeks Later...

Well, it's now three weeks after the surgery and both the recipient and I are doing well and recovering quickly.  I talked to Manu this week and he sounded good - upbeat and positive.  In the second week after the surgery, there was a bit of a concern for him because his creatine levels were creeping up past the normal 120 (his had crept up to 130 then 150).  The doctors did a few tests - X-rays of the new kidney, blood tests, biopsy, etc - to see if there was perhaps something wrong with the kidney (yes, the super-bionic kidney).  But they found nothing of concern.

So it possibly could be the anti-rejection medication that all recipients must take to keep their bodies from rejecting the 'foreign' transplanted organ.  The doctors normally must give the recipient varying doses of this medication until they find a dose that keeps his levels in the normal range.  And this week, Manu's levels are dropping back into the normal range again, so the doctors will keep an eye on that.  Please continue to pray for Manu and his family.  Pray that he recovers well and that there will be no other concerns with the transplant.

As for me, I am recovering much quicker than I had expected.  I was able to get off of all pain meds after only a week post-surgery.  A week and a half after the surgery, I was able to go for walks of 2.75 km, 3.25 km and 6 km.  And at the 2 and a half week mark, I started running again - 5 km and now 7.5 kms.  So I am doing really well with the recovery!  But I'll try to milk it a few more weeks - breakfast in bed and being waited on hand and foot sure is nice!  ;-)

And as you can see from the 3-week-post-surgery foto below, the incisions are healing nicely.  You can barely see the 1cm keyhole scars anymore (yes, 1 of the keyhole incisions was INSIDE my belly-button).  And the 12cm / 5 inch incision is normally hidden by my pants so no one will ever see it except me.  It is kinda lumpy and  tough though, so that still bugs me.   And also, the only other things that still get me is the fatigue (surgeon said it can last for months - but afternoon naps sure help!) and the bloated/swollen feeling in my abdomen (and no, it isn't just my own gas that causes this!).  But I guess the only cure for these things is time.  So thanks for continuing to pray for Manu and me!  Will keep you posted....

[caption id="attachment_1364" align="aligncenter" width="615" caption="3 weeks after surgery"][/caption]

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