Are Christians Allowed to Feel Despair or Depression?

This past week as I was helping out with the Feeding Ministry from our church, I talked to the lady I mentioned in the last post - the lady who had her hours at work cut back, her utilites shut off, her car almost repossessed. Well this week she was really mad - at me, at God, at people, at the world in general. She said that since 2 weeks ago, when I prayed for her, things have gotten worse. And she blames me, God, the world!

I tried to talk to her and encourage her, but she refused to listen, refused to be prayed for. In fact, she said she wished that someone would just kill her! Then she would be out of this world. And she didn't care if she went to hell or not - anywhere would be better than here! Wow, such despair!

You could really feel the anger and despair and hopelessness and yes, even fear in her. But she refused to be comforted. All I could do was encourage her to continue going forward, continue to put one foot in front of the other and to see what God will do. She listened to that at least. But whether she will actually take that advice and do it is another thing.

Have you ever felt such despair and depression? Even to the point of wanting to give up. Even to the point of wanting to die. It's ok if you have, even if you are a believer. You're not alone - think of David or many of the prophets or even the great Apostle Paul. They felt such despair.

I read this passage in 2 Corinthians as part of my daily reading.

For we do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, of our trouble which came to us in Asia: that we were burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of life (my emphasis). 2Cor 1.8

Here is the migthy Paul, the Apostle to the Gentiles, author of a huge chunk of the New Testatment, perhaps even the greatest Apostle that ever was. And yet, he writes that he and his companions despaired of life, that they were burdened beyond measure. He admitted it. He simply told the Corinthians how he really felt. He didn't pull any punches, didn't try to put on a 'face' and tell them that he was 'ok' or 'fine'. He told them his true feelings.

It's so easy for us as Christians to try to always have on the joyful, happy face, even in the midst of trials and suffering. I know I do this - when someone asks how I am doing my automatic response is always 'fine' no matter what the circumstances might be. But inside I might be full of frustation, fear or even despair. I am learning to be more honest in this particular situation -
to tell people that I am not doing well, but that I also know and trust that I am in God's hands. That's what Paul says.

Yes, we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead, who delivered us from so great a death, and does deliver us; in whom we trust that He will still deliver us, you also helping together in prayer for us, that thanks may be given by many persons on our behalf for the gift granted to us through many. 2Cor 1.9-11

So I believe it is ok for us as believers to feel despair and depression in certain situations and to admit that (now of course I am not endorsing self-pity or going around looking like death warmed over). But I also believe that we as believers have a greater hope and deliverance. And that we CAN rejoice in this. I love how Paul states that even during this trial, he trusted in God 'who delivered us from so great a death, and does deliver us; in whom we trust that He will still deliver us'.

So no matter what the situation, no matter how desparate you are, no matter how depressed you are (and it's okay to be so), no matter how much despair fills your heart, trust in God and rejoice in the fact that you are in His hands. I do.